How to Manage Christmas Anxiety — A Psychologist’s Guide

It’s the holiday season! Meaning it’s time for twinkling lights, cherished traditions, and heartfelt connections. But let’s be honest—it’s also the season of stressing out in (not always so pleasant) family gatherings, agonizing over end-of-year deadlines at work, last-minute gift shopping, and the pressure to be happy and joyful (when you don’t actually feel this way).

If you’re feeling this way, you are not alone. The gap between the idealized holiday fantasy and our complex reality is the main reason for stress. As a clinical psychologist, I see this period amplify existing anxieties and create unique psychological burdens.

Let’s break down the main stressors of the season and equip you with evidence-based strategies for managing holiday stress.

This is perhaps the most common and distressing thought. Marketing and media sell us a uniform package of joy, but human emotions don’t work on a calendar.

Expecting yourself to feel constant cheer is an emotional directive that often backfires, leading to guilt and shame when we inevitably feel tired, sad, or neutral. This is especially potent if you’re grieving a loss, facing challenges, or simply burnt out from the year.

How to Cope:

Tell yourself, “It’s okay that I’m not happy right now. My feelings are valid and temporary.” Name the emotion: is it sadness, exhaustion, anxiety, or overwhelm?

Don’t chase a month-long feeling. Look for one small, pleasant sensory experience: the smell of a favorite drink, the warmth of a blanket, or a single beautiful Christmas decoration. Anchor yourself there for 15-30 seconds.

Maybe your “holiday spirit” this year looks like quiet solitude, helping someone anonymously, or watching heartwarming movies. It doesn’t have to be loud or social to be meaningful.

Gift-giving, travel, and hosting—these are all parts of immense holiday financial stress and direct triggers for anxiety, impacting sleep and decision-making and, for many people, being the main reasons for Christmas anxiety.

The holiday financial stress activates our threat response, putting us in a state of scarcity mindset. This makes us prone to impulsive decisions (panic-buying expensive gifts) or complete avoidance, both of which increase stress later.

How to Cope:

Set a realistic, firm budget for all holiday expenses. Peace of mind is a greater gift than any item.

Propose alternatives with family/friends: a Secret Santa with a limit, a homemade-only exchange, or donating to a charity. You’ll often find others are relieved.

Shift the focus from monetary value to thoughtfulness or shared experience. A handwritten letter, an offer to babysit for a parent, or a planned hike together can be more impactful.

The “December deadline” is dreaded both professionally and personally. The narrative of “New Year, New Me” can turn into a harsh audit of the past year, fueling an urge to tie up loose ends and achieve more before the year ends.

This combines achievement anxiety with the psychological pressure of a looming deadline. Seeing the year as a closing chapter can make unfinished goals feel like failures, causing unproductive, last-minute striving.

How to Cope:

Instead of a brutal performance review of your year, write down three categories: What I Accomplished (big or small), What I Survived/Endured, and What I Learned. This creates a balanced, compassionate narrative.

Proactively communicate realistic timelines for end-of-year projects. Block focus time on your calendar. Practice saying, “I can have that to you by [date],” instead of automatically agreeing to unrealistic demands.

Give yourself official permission to let the “New Year, New Me” planning start in January. Use December for rest and integration. The best foundation for a new start is a calm mind.

By implementing these strategies, you can begin to navigate the pressure of forced joy, financial strain, and year-end deadlines with greater resilience and self-compassion. 

In part two, we will explore the complex dynamics of family gatherings and the psychological trap of the "New Year, New Me" paradox, equipping you to handle these emotionally charged situations with calmness and confidence.

By Polina Rokeach, Clinical Psychologist